Gemini Dream....or is it?
by Celie
It is amazing that you have dreams as I do;
my dreams seem to somehow mean something or always come true.
Mine was reoccurring of a figure that seemed to come in a tad blurry.
I could make out in great detail my surroundings
but not the figure that stood in front of me.
I had craved a feeling that I had never felt before
not knowing if it really existed
or if it was just another one of my fantasies,
wondering how is it possible to seek something that may or may not be real
since I never had the opportunity to feel.
It could have been a made up feeling to possibly block out my true reality,
but each night the dream became clearer and there you were.
I had spent many years neglecting myself thinking it was love
not knowing that in the process I was lost in a world of low self-esteem,
feeling unloved, used, and unappreciated;
it seemed to be a never ending web I weaved myself,
not knowing how to break free.
As time passed I who no longer had a voice cried out
praying that my message was heard
and not ignored as previously done before.
My healing had begun with no help from anyone but myself.
So yes the feelings are still there,
they are just buried under a thick layer of skin
hoping no one will ever see them again.
At night I would cry myself to sleep
praying that God would send you to rescue me
as if a damsel in distress,
I am a dreamer too
that is why at times I can’t believe I have you……
in my dreams.
All I knew is that I had so much love to give that it hurt to hold it in,
the mere words I love you
lived on the tip of my tongue forcing to exist in the real word,
yet there was no one to share my level of love.
I wanted more,
I wanted to love without effort,
with each thought of that blurry imagine
that was now clear
I knew you were love.
A vision of love,
my more that I seek.
I hoped that when we met
you did not notice my insecurities or at least right off the bat.
I did not want them to show on my face.
All of this changing,
preparing and healing was for me
yet at the same time for a man
that may or may not be.
A man that only seem to exist in my dream...
or does he.
Ms. Celie's Blues
by Celie
My color purple is a meadow of endless lilies and I,
missing the familiar warmth of you next me.
I am saddened at the thought of limited time, but
cherish each moment I am able to share my life with you.
I play with your hair that I pretend is made of honeycomb,
your smile of the clouds above
I embrace your essence and
inhale you as if you are a rose just bloomed. I kiss your lips
gently, they are soft as new born skin, they make my eyes close
and moans sing out for only you and I to hear.
These are just words and nothing more then that,
they could never express the way you make me feel.
At times I can not help but wonder what the future
holds yet I live day by day and pray this feeling
never ends.
My mind escapes to a place where there is no such
thing as time and no reason for this sadness to ever exist
in my heart. But again that is a fantasy world and reality
is what we live in, just hoping that when we wait out time
you will still be here for me.
He Loves
by Celie
He loves so freely without fear in his heart,
I did not realize until tonight that I meant so
much, he pushes previous hurt and pain deep
within, to experience the love I have to give.
A heart that has been shattered, torn, and tattered
thrown along the shore for a wave to have
mercy on and wash away the pain.
He has walked barefoot in the sand which is my
mind and restored the pieces that were left behind.
He loves on levels I have never seem, and there are
more to come of that I am sure.
His breeze is the emotional
support that I have so craved. I savor each kiss
from his lips.
He loves so freely and at times I have to ask why me?
What makes me so different from all the rest? I seem
to do nothing extraordinary, except listen when he speaks,
a voice of an African king. I admire his sense,
wise beyond his years, I run my fingers through his
locs, to relax his being. I fill a void in his soul that he was
missing but now has been found. With each word he speaks
I am speechless, which leaves a lump on my heart which
makes it hard to swallow and makes it hard to breathe.
A shallow feeling overwhelms my
chest and I do have to confess that it is his love that has this effect.
At times just his voice along brings tears to my eyes,
amazed that someone loves me so much in this day and time.
He loves so freely and I ask how, he says it is
God that has taught him this gift. A man that loved so freely he
gave his only son, he now freely gives that love to me.
He loves so freely without fear and on this day I will do the same.
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